Monday, May 14, 2012

Mother's Day Post - the good, the bad, and the ugly

So most of you know that I lost my mom to cancer just over 5 years ago.  It was before I was even pregnant with my little girl.  Since then, Mother's Day has been hard.  It's really hard for me to get so excited about my kids/husband doing things for me when most of the day I think about my mom.  I want to enjoy Mother's Day so much, but it's so hard for me too. 

The Good

The fam decided to go to my in-laws lake house for the weekend.  Last minute, we decided that I would take the kids early Thursday evening with my mother-in-law and then hubs and his stepdad would join us Friday evening after work.  So that was a nice surprise to get up there early and have more time to relax and another pair of hands to help with the kiddos.  The little guy even slept pretty well for me, which was nice.  During the little guys morning nap, my MIL (mother-in-law) even volunteered to watch Hope so I could go running.  I just did a quick 4 miler, but it was nice to get out especially since it was the first time I had run all week.  I did run in a turkey during my run, which made my heart skip a beat for a minute, but there was no damage done by either of us.  During the kids afternoon nap, my MIL wanted to wash some windows, so I got to lay by the lake with a book (yes, I am a little behind, but I am loving it).  The men arrived late on Friday and the rest of the weekend at the lake was very nice.  I got a new bathing suit for Mother's Day and a cover up for the summer.  I hadn't gotten a new bathing suit or cover up in 3 years, so it was time. 

The Bad

It's not really bad, but on our way back from the lake, we stopped at the cemetary where my mother is.  I am definitely glad I was able to get there on Mother's Day, even if I was without a flower for her grave.  But of course, I would have preferred to have gone to her house and hung out with her, so that is where the bad comes from.  We got the kids out of the car, even though we knew it would be a quick trip.  Hope knows that "Gigi" is in heaven (she points to the sky) so it was kind of difficult to describe that this is her resting place when we are looking at a grave.  I did tell my mom Happy Mother's Day and what really hurt was when my husband told me how proud she would be of me.  I just about lost it then.  I was a relatively young adult when she passed.  I had graduated from grad school and gotten married, and I had done a good bit of work at my job before she passed, but I feel like my life has changed so much in the past 5 years, that my mom has missed.  Of course the birth of my 2 children is #1 and #2 on the list.  Buying our second house (our family house), my husband graduating with his PhD and getting a job, etc.  It was an emotional rollercoaster, but I tried to stay positive the rest of the day.

The Ugly
Well it was raining, and I was supposed to have semi-final play for tennis.  That was why we left the lake earlier on Sunday.  So we figured the rain would postpone tennis until Monday, but we had it hanging over our heads for hours.  Then finally, the rain stopped for about 1.5 hours, so they made it go out there (30 minutes away) and stand there for 15 minutes before deciding that it was definitely going to rain again and we could go home.  So I spent 1.25 hours away from my family just driving and waiting for nothing on Mother's Day.  Not the way I wanted to spent the afternoon.  Ugh!

The night did end well, but hubs and I were so into playing with the kids in our new playroom, that we missed planning dinner.  So we didn't get a special dinner, just spaghetti.  But I did get a wonderful back massage from hubs after bending over all weekend with Junior Junior. 

I hope all the mothers out there had a wonderful Mother's Day!  Did you do anything special? 


  1. I want to say that I love reading your blog. I have lurked here for a while, and I look forward to your posts because you are inspiring and honest at the same time. You accomplish a lot, and I like that you acknowledge the challenges you face. As a mom of two young children, I face many of the same challenges so I can really relate.

    I'm glad you got to find a way to remember your mother, even though it was bittersweet. Your husband is right, she would be proud of you!

  2. Thanks Hani for your comments. You are so sweet.